Hey everyone! So I figured I'd share a little something that happened to me recently. This summer I decided to take a six week dance course in Ballet/Lyrical and Jazz. After six weeks, Wednesday was my last night of classes. Now, I'm not a dancer in any way and the last time I took a dance class was in 8th grade. So its been a while since I even wore my ballet shoes. I felt pretty bad when I first began dancing again but slowly built my confidence and felt better about it.
But like I was saying, I took my last class and I felt completely stupid in ballet and I'll tell you why. My normal instructor was on vacation; I knew that and was okay with it. However, when I went to class I was the only one there. So not only was I learning ballet and lyrical from a different teacher, but my teacher was this guy who was only a few years older than me and I had never seen before. I'm an introvert by nature and it takes me a while to warm up to people. I'm also very awkward around guys and my self confidence isn't that high around them either. My mind goes into this state of the guy always judging what I was doing and how I looked and stuff like that. I know it shouldn't have bothered me but that's how I am.
It was especially awkward since dance is a lot about body alignment and it was his job to look at the position my body was in. He had to see if my waist was tall enough or my thighs were turned out correctly and so on. It was so embarrassing since I still hadn't mastered all of the ballet lingo and asked a few times what we were doing. But after I got through barre, we moved onto lyrical and let me tell you, I was not at all used to the style of lyrical he taught. His style was very unique and not at all what I was expecting. I'm not saying he was a terrible teacher, he was actually very good. I was just very self-conscious of everything I was doing.
The whole sequence was about pretending to be drunk so I can tell you that was very awkward for me since I've never been drunk before. Maybe he thought I was older or something but yeah, it was a bit uncomfortable. Not only that but the end sequence was me sitting on the floor in the middle splits pretending to hold up a beer bottle. I was absolutely mortified when I had to do it. And after that he told me to dance the sequence on my own which was okay during some parts, but a complete disaster in others. To top it all off some of the people who were in my jazz class were watching me through the window and I wanted to die. I didn't really know the dance that well and felt completely stupid doing it. But I pushed through and got to the end.
I was happy it was over and done with and I never wanted to be the only one in a class having the teacher watch my every move ever again. But as I drove home I thought to myself, you know what? Who the hell cares?! I danced in there and got through it in one piece so that's got to be worth something. I'm probably never going to see him again so why should I dwell on how bad I thought I looked in front of him? I shouldn't because it didn't matter. The past is in the past and in ten years he probably won't even remember that one girl who was in that one dance class that he substitute taught that one summer.
I guess the lesson of my story is that who cares what people think. Did I feel stupid? Oh, yeah. I did. I felt so stupid doing everything in that class. But again, why should I care? I shouldn't. It won't matter in a year. So if you want to join a new club or try out a new sport in college, but are too scared because of what people will think just ask yourself this: Who cares? You want to do that sport so you're gonna go do it! Who cares if you can't play Quidditch or can't debate international politics to save your life? If you don't care and are having fun, other people won't either! Just go out there and do it!
Remember guys, I know it may seem mortifying if you fall on your butt in Quidditch or have weak evidence to back up your arguments, but it's okay. All of those people who are good at the club or sport you just joined were at your level at one point too. They're there to guide you and help you improve, not tear you down (if they are tearing you down, maybe you should reconsider the clubs you're part of). So one day, when they leave, you can take over their spot and help people who will be at the same level you are at now. Just remember, this is college and when you're out looking for a job, no one will care if you fell on your face that first week of school. The only way it will matter to them is if it matters to you. So make sure you choose something that matters a lot to you and make it worth your while.
All the best! -Becca
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